Why I am doing this

I am intrigued by the idea of blogging. I don't know if I can muster the courage to widely publish my ideas and gather the will to regularly publish my thoughts, but what the heck, let's give it a try...
And I am doing this because I need a relief. I am going to church every Sunday - going through the ritual and the routine and the motions of the catholic faith which I no longer profess but have to continue to practice until such a time comes when I am able to confront everyone with my re-discovered skepticism of the religious beliefs. Yes, it is not new and although I have been a practicing catholic practically all my life, the lingering doubt and incredulity has always been there, right in the background of it all - same as when I sat in the back of the chapel in school because I was taken to mass but did not really want to be there
How can people be so deluded even when they must be fully aware of how christianity has developed is beyond me. Maybe my publishing of these thoughts will bring other like minded skeptics to share their ideas in and enlighten me. I hope.
Now, if I could enlighten anyone...